The Law Firm of Connem, Bilkem, and Gottcha, PC

                      UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT
     
                      RED LIGHT DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA
     
     
     
     Connem, Bilkem, and Gottcha,    )  No. 12-3-456789-1
     Attorneys                       )
          Plaintiff,                 )
                                     )
          vs.                        )
                                     ) PLEADING FOR BUSINESS
     Other Lawyers,                  )
          Defendant                  )
                                     )
                                     )
     
     This PLEADING is a pleading for business and a statement herewith
     
     of the reasons and justifications thereof why the reader,
     
     henceforth known as the party of the first part, should hire,
     
     contract with, and otherwise employ the law firm of Connem,
     
     Bilkem, and Gottcha, Attorneys at Law, henceforth known as party
     
     of the second part, and forego and desist from association with
     
     Other Lawyers, the Defendant in this pleading.
     
     WHEREAS Connem, Bilkem, and Gottcha maintains offices near every
     
     jail in the state.
     
     WHEREAS Connem, Bilkem, and Gottcha continuously monitors all
     
     radio channels dispatching ambulances.
     
     WHEREAS Connem, Bilkem, and Gottcha makes generous donations to
     
     all major political candidates.
     
     WHEREAS Connem, Bilkem, and Gottcha is winner of the 1994 Bail
     
     Bondsman's Appreciation award.
     
     WHEREAS the reader does not want to sit in the witness box and be
     
     asked, "When did you stop beating your spouse?"
     
     THEREFORE Let it be ordered that the reader will immediately and
     
     forthwith, without any reservation or undue delay, contract with
     
     Connem, Bilkem, and Gottcha for legal services.