Pencil Packers Announces Internet Ordering

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Source: Regina Hack
15 March 1995, Bogusville, VW

Pencil Packers, Incorporated, the largest and most complete supplier of pencils ... and 20,000 other office supplies, is putting its 300 yellow and red delivery trucks on the Information Superhighway. "We are on the on-ramp and will be merging into traffic soon," said Exacto Bithausen, Vice President for Modern Stuff at Pencil Packers.

Pay your taxes, then look at our catalog

On April 15th Pencil Packers will publish its first supplies catalog on the World Wide Web. This catalog will include complete descriptions of thousands of office supplies. "Now with the click of the mouse, our customers can learn the specifications of paperclips," promised Bithausen. The catalog will also include digital sounds and video clips. "We feel it will educate and inform our customers. Now they can see all the best ways to apply rubber cement and can select a copier with a rhythm to complement the buzz and hum of any office."

Order electronically shortly thereafter

By the middle of May, Pencil Packers, will add electronic ordering to its Web-based catalog. Customers with established accounts can make their selections directly from the catalog. Their orders will be packaged by happy union-scale robots and loaded on a delivery van within one hour of receipt of the order. "That's a lot faster than most of our customers could shop in our store, " chortled Bithausen, before quickly adding, "Of course, that does not mean our stores are not easy to shop in. Traffic, you know."

Customers who want set up an account can apply by phone (1-800-555-3456) or can request an application by e-mail to bitbucket@pencil.packer.com pencil.packers@wherever.com.

Customers without an account with Pencil Packers can still take advantage of electronic ordering. They can either pay for their order on delivery or the local store can call for a credit-card number. "Any way the order takes less time and bother than shopping the old way," emphasized Bithausen.

Get ready to download fax paper

Pencil Pushers also revealed that it is working with TransMorgrification Inc. on ways to apply TransMorgs unique molecular regeneration techology to allow customers of Pencil Pushers to electronically download office supplies. Although no dates were announced, Usedup E. Raser, CEO of Pencil Pushers, said, "This annoucement should put to rest the notion that Pencil Pushers Incorporated is technologically naive."

For more information

Exacto Bithausen
Pencil Pushers, Inc.
2 Ticonderoga Drive
Bogusville, VW, 45678
1-800-555-3456
bithausen@pencil.packer.com